Freud vs Jung ROAST: Cocaine, a Spirit Guide, and a Broken Friendship

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FREUD vs JUNG go head to head — and every jab is rooted in real history.

FREUD

You abandoned science for mysticism, Carl. Astrology, alchemy, and a spirit guide you named Philemon. You didn't study the unconscious. You moved into it.

JUNG

At least my guide was imaginary, Sigmund. You put actual cocaine up your nose and prescribed it to your patients. You saw a phallus in every chimney, you blamed everybody's mother, and you fainted. Twice. When I dared to disagree.

FREUD

I fainted because your ambition was suffocating. Twenty cigars a day is what killed me, jaw and all. And still I say this: you kept a mistress in the spare room while your wife poured the tea.

JUNG

We both stared into the abyss, Sigmund. You saw only sex. I saw the soul. The difference is, I found my way back out.

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