Einstein vs Tesla ROAST: He Married His Cousin, He Loved a Pigeon
EINSTEIN vs TESLA go head to head — and every jab is rooted in real history.
Tell me, Albert. Is E equals m-c-squared your masterpiece? Or is it just short for: Einstein Married his Cousin... twice? You wed Elsa, and she was related to you on both sides.
Says the man who fell in love with a pigeon. Your own words, Nikola: I loved that bird as a man loves a woman. My cousin, at least, was human.
That pigeon was more loyal than your first wife, the one you divorced and paid off with your Nobel Prize money. They kept your brain in a jar for forty years, still hunting for the part that understood love.
You dined with eighteen napkins, circled every building three times, and died broke and alone in room three-three-two-seven. Divisible by three, naturally. You tamed lightning, Nikola. A pigeon tamed you.
And yet, they named the car after me, Albert. Not you. Roast that.
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