Einstein vs Tesla ROAST: He Married His Cousin, He Loved a Pigeon

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EINSTEIN vs TESLA go head to head — and every jab is rooted in real history.

TESLA

Tell me, Albert. Is E equals m-c-squared your masterpiece? Or is it just short for: Einstein Married his Cousin... twice? You wed Elsa, and she was related to you on both sides.

EINSTEIN

Says the man who fell in love with a pigeon. Your own words, Nikola: I loved that bird as a man loves a woman. My cousin, at least, was human.

TESLA

That pigeon was more loyal than your first wife, the one you divorced and paid off with your Nobel Prize money. They kept your brain in a jar for forty years, still hunting for the part that understood love.

EINSTEIN

You dined with eighteen napkins, circled every building three times, and died broke and alone in room three-three-two-seven. Divisible by three, naturally. You tamed lightning, Nikola. A pigeon tamed you.

TESLA

And yet, they named the car after me, Albert. Not you. Roast that.

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